Have you ever had the gut instinct that one of your friends is a fake? Knowing for sure and admitting that you feel close to someone or have been “friends” for a long time can be difficult. Here are some tips from professionals on how to recognize a false friend and how to move away.
According to psychologist Annette , M.S., Ph.D., fake friends typically demand something from you but offer nothing in return. “The friendship is carried by you, not by the friend,” the friend said.
False friends, according to Leeds, do not have your best interests at heart and “view the friendship from the perspective of what they can get from you rather than a place of genuine care for you.” They also do not care about you.
10 signs of a fake friend:
1.They’re a fair-weather friend.
When it would be to their advantage, does this person manage to show up, but as soon as you really need them, they vanish? They might attend a party you throw so they can network, but when you’re having trouble, they vanish. According to Leeds, this kind of behavior is a sign of a phony buddy.
2.They aren’t there for you.
In a similar vein, Nuez claims that a friend is certainly a fake if they are almost never there for you while you are going through a difficult period. In their eyes, being there for you and providing you with emotional support serves no purpose for them. And if and when they do “support” you, it comes across as fake and superficial.
3.They always seem to need something from you.
Leeds says that fake friends typically only get in touch or get together when they need or want something from you. One day you might be startled when they contact you to see how you are, only to hear from them the next day that they applied for a position at your company and need a recommendation from you.
4.They’re competitive with you.
Leeds and Nuez both point out that false friends can be fiercely competitive and do so out of envy. They might always try to outdo you in discussion, whether it’s one-on-one or even in a group environment, or they might just want to appear superior to you.
5.They make you feel bad about yourself.
A false buddy won’t encourage you the way a real friend will. In the presence of this individual, Leeds claims that “you may feel insecure, used, or judged.” In some cases, nothing at all needs to be stated in order for you to sense their disapproval or judgmental looks.
Related : 10 signs of a fake friend
6.They don’t celebrate with you.
When it comes to your victories, triumphs, and accomplishments, phony friends will not only not share in the celebration, according to Nuez, but they may also disparage them. “They could take advantage of your joy to diminish you or denigrate you by saying things like, ‘That’s not a big deal. Anyone can carry that out.
7.They talk about you behind your back.
This one can be harder to spot, of course, depending on how careful this person is with who they talk about you to. However, if you catch wind of a supposed “friend” spreading rumors or lies about you, or just generally trash-talking, Nuñez says that is not a true friend.
Also, it’s not necessary to only say hurtful things to you behind your back. Some folks will tell things to you directly and without hesitation. According to Nuez, a major warning sign is if they consistently hold you in a poor light and say nothing flattering about you. True friends should truly enjoy each other and display that liking.
A phony friend is more likely to injure you since they don’t care about your welfare, according to Leeds. They can disregard your limits, for instance. This demonstrates that they don’t genuinely care about you, whether they are merely rude to you or manifest obvious disregard for your needs and limits.
10.They have something to gain from you.
The desire for anything from you is one of the traits of a phony buddy. “By being your friend, they use you to gain something,” Nuez claims. “Anything to profit oneself,” the speaker said, “may be social status gain, to get a job, to be buddies with your pals.
11.They’re jealous of you in some way.
There is an underlying jealousy with false pals, claims Nuez. They want to be your friends because they stand to gain from you, but below it all, she says, “there’s this underlying jealousy where they don’t want you to do too well.”
A Word From PsychologySaga
The best course of action is to believe on your instincts and intuition. There is no need to continue to explore a friendship with someone who constantly makes you feel miserable if that friendship is not benefiting you. Nuez continues, “If it’s not a friendship that benefits both people, it’s not worth it.”